And he said "Well, shucky darn!" And it got infected and he died. So much for that bulking up he just did. Oh well. So up in heaven, St. Peter said to him,

At any second now, the toilet would overflow! This is what happens when you don't wait until tea time exactly to have tea time. She and the little green creatures would learn the

fridge. It kept the stench of decomposing meat restricted to one room of the house, at least. "Ah, Julia," her father sighed, "you should never have dived into an empty pool."

And sensing my anxiety, the heroine came straight for me. "Please, good sir, won't you join me on stage?" I couldn't say no, so I nervously followed her, my tidy whities

that when it was two inches on a map, then it was two minutes away in person. I truly doubted that, but I would never say it 'cause I knew that if if I chose to, I would aboslutely

rigged them so entering a PIN administered pre-measured doses of Ex-Lax to the monkeys, causing a commensurate number of bills to spray from their butts. These Simian ATMs revoluti

But when he entered the oval office, he was shocked to find only a giant orange muppet slumping lifelessly at the desk. A buzzing was coming from it's hollow head. A bee had become

thought to lose easily to Doctor Fate, but Dr. Goodfeel was an experienced soap opera doctor, and could bring all the tropes to the table: Hiatus hernia, amnesia where you forget,

's dead corpse that Joel had laid on the bed. "So much for cosplay, Stalin." I said to Joel in his disguise. I, too was wearing a Barney Custom to set the mood. The pineapple in

When the feds came that morning, she stood as like a stump amongst logs. The feds having to step over the dead bodies to get to her. She had the answers to their question of why.

"Thanks" the taxi driver said "I mean it's yellow, like every other cab in New York" he continued, clearly unsettled by my flirtations. Time to take a more direct approach. I

Shoe Angel, or a Shangel as the Old Masters had called them. Finally, I had completed my training, and now I could fly using my shoes which were

rupture in spacetime that I could investigate? Which dimension would it send me to? The evil grocer would of course want me to stay, but if I were to just reach into that void,

The crowd gasped. No one ever questioned the Genie, the supreme know-it-all. The Genie grew to massive size and pointed his finger at the questioner. “Dog! Prepare to receive your

Then the vegetarian PCP fiend made a gorgeous salad for all his PCP fiend friends in the alley. It had been a very unhealthy day for the nudist lettuce, but a very healthy day for

him, but Bruno's alcohol-induced coma and spouting of eldritch beings left him dead as a doorknob to the world. Peggy shook him more, but just then, the Ravers returned! After 20

ways..." "7," Kevin's voice came up through the vent. "You didn't do anything," Velma yelled back at him. "I stayed quiet." He had her. "Ok. 7. Less than $3 each. Not smelling it.

newspaper. Something was peculiar (as he'd say, "perculiar"). For some reason, Dr. Ruth had answered all nine letters today with "Put a gun to your head; it's the only solution."

anordyslexia where they only screwed up spelling short words. The Hulk's babies needed to be stopped, and how else do you stop babies than with a giant spike press? Tell me a more

lost the case. "Too bad she didn't lose a pound!" the producer laughed. His lackeys laughed too. They rolled the 601-pound woman down the courthouse steps to the press' applause.