The man looked at me like he was just now noticing me. He looked around the room as if to get his bearings. "What is the latest Rocky movie? What is the year?" I backed away.

watched the drama that unfolded inside his eyelids. Geometric shapes danced to strange echoes of music, then parted to reveal a stark stage filled with ceramic weeping clowns.

He pulled out the cannon and blew himself up. The audience gave the maestro a posthumous standing ovation. Yo man pass that fat spliff. That's not a spliff that's a doobie, dumbass

Peter stared down at all those bullets that his buttcheek had collapsed, lying like quarters spent all over the pavement. His arse was sore, but at least Gramps was still alive.

another star brand on the arm. Jimmy was a smart boy, so the teacher was running out of unbranded skin on this arm. She thought about what Jimmy had said about Abraham Lincoln as s

feinted to the darkside but Adam West Batman danced the Batdance and I felt like Alice's Vic Tayback in a Quinn Martin Production. I reached for my Remington Steele but he was out.

"Of course it is." Beck sighed. He was used to fate messing with him like this. After all, it isn't often that your ex is nice to you. Just so happened that his ex wove his fate.

#20. Dance like nobody's filming you with their smartphone. #21. Nap whenever the chance presents itself. #22. Always say 'please' and 'thank you' to the people who pay you. #23

Then the trombone and trumpet players joined in the chorus, followed by French horns. A yak was the producer of the session at the Yak recording studios, state-of-the-art. Famously

-hew this sort of thing, claiming that it was 'the devil's wine spritzer', but dealornodeal would not let ashybear leave the party without one little taste. She glowered at him and

rupture in spacetime that I could investigate? Which dimension would it send me to? The evil grocer would of course want me to stay, but if I were to just reach into that void,

Fiona turned off the television and knew who she had to call. "I will find allergy relief!" she exclaimed. She found her way to the kitchen to start some tea with honey.

Then the vegetarian PCP fiend made a gorgeous salad for all his PCP fiend friends in the alley. It had been a very unhealthy day for the nudist lettuce, but a very healthy day for

fix my fucking desktop, but the recovery drive didn't work. I could tell the computer to boot to it, but then it'd just stay blank. "Maybe I can just cut myself," I thought aloud.

scent in my canine nostrils. Fresh woodland squirrel in my jowls. Muscles moving in coordinated quadrupedal motion. I am become doggo, digger of holes.

newspaper. Something was peculiar (as he'd say, "perculiar"). For some reason, Dr. Ruth had answered all nine letters today with "Put a gun to your head; it's the only solution."

forego buying armor this semester to pay the ridiculous tuition. He knew he could cover the lack by wearing a glamour. Uriah found he had been assigned to an acolyte who was adept

"WWCD?" he thought, tumbling in slow motion to the floor from the pickle slippage debacle. "What Would Clausen Do?" he repeated. "Ah-ha!" Brilliance had struck. "Snap!"

lost the case. "Too bad she didn't lose a pound!" the producer laughed. His lackeys laughed too. They rolled the 601-pound woman down the courthouse steps to the press' applause.

made a disturbing humming sound which, to his shock, the androgynous individual mimicked. A fatal mistake. The Gaze was now upon two-lips, and Tiny Tim could only watch in horror