Heart broken as he receipt from Lowe's for her home renovation had been washed in the dryer from Home Depot. So she invited the court, all twelve men to come through her front door

framed the Hamburgler for the dirty deed done dirt cheap. Well, not cheap, it did cost Ronald 720 hamburgers but that’s a small price to pay when you can eliminate your biggest

called them by number. What was this? Had they really been dreaming, or was this just part of a long series of dimensional twists? The first walked to the desk. The receptionist

it's puppertry continued, this divine being continuing to imitate a human, a person, movements one could see as gentle and questioning. i stood firm, distrustful of this presence

in a self-referential state, he wasn't able to easily focus on the colors. Soon he found out that it was the mural on the wall he was walking towards. This made Mr. Raindrop

the terrible blockages it caused in my intestines. The shadow shrugged. "It's your arsehole, I guess," it said, before vanishing into the night. I took another bite of my hoodie.

However, having been grievously injured the last time he tried to climb a beanstalk, Jack sued the bean-seller, demanding he make the stalks wheelchair-accessible. "How am I going

will just have to do. Now, shall we proceed with the show?" Alton Brown nodded grimly, wanting desperately to be anywhere else at this moment. The Reynold's Wrap was starting to

During a night of drunkenness and disorder, the Blue Fairy ingested the Violet Fairy, whole and alive. Above her high-pitched shriek, the now Ultraviolet Fairy was heard saying, “

right in the forehead of the senator's wife. Good thing she was wearing the kevlar helmet she always wore for fundraising. Kids can be so violent those days because of those damn

clogging? The other clown staring at me --he knew I had lost. I cut myself free and crashed down to the floor. I was shirtless and everyone was laughing at me. Well, this was what

I didn’t know elves could do that. Now I’ll have to be wary at corners in case of horny elves. Spent, the elf hiked up her petticoats and went on her elf way. Her ears would make

soon his poor legs felt like they'd been fried, or sauteed with onions and garlic and a little extra-virgin olive oil. The harder the frog rode, the more delicious his legs became.

the invisible creeps implored Zeke. All the time laying their invisible unfelt hands upon his ectoplasm. Dragging him into the unseen world. Zeke did welcome having invisible tits.

of intelligent agriculture will pull at their heartstrings. Imagine having a conversation with your corn before eating it! How romantic. I'm willing to invest two billion into

were in, after spending hundreds of dollars on lottery tickets and winning next to nothing. If we had won, my wife thought we should buy a house and settle down, but I thought

So lemme get this straight: You're handing me some bait and telling me to wait for your mate to state his weight in the... I got nothin'.

the liar she thought he was- but no feeble words could convince her. He began to grip tightly to the doorframe, as if in danger of being forced out by a supernatural force.

never make assumptions on anything. As the saying goes: It makes an ass out of you and me. What an asinine comment. I cannot believe that jackass! And thus, the thread of

“It’s not my boots”, his girlfriend lied, “it’s my rubber underpants squeaking, because of my incontinence”. Stunned, and grimacing, he leaned in close & sniffed her for urine.