's dead corpse that Joel had laid on the bed. "So much for cosplay, Stalin." I said to Joel in his disguise. I, too was wearing a Barney Custom to set the mood. The pineapple in

Peter stared down at all those bullets that his buttcheek had collapsed, lying like quarters spent all over the pavement. His arse was sore, but at least Gramps was still alive.

And sensing my anxiety, the heroine came straight for me. "Please, good sir, won't you join me on stage?" I couldn't say no, so I nervously followed her, my tidy whities

in our ears were talking Donkeys, named, "Donkey!" Shrek grabbed Apollo, right out of the YouTube Videos, and

"Thanks" the taxi driver said "I mean it's yellow, like every other cab in New York" he continued, clearly unsettled by my flirtations. Time to take a more direct approach. I

complete my ensemble for the next inaugural ball: a bewitching cocktail bra! But where to find one, now that it's no longer 1965? The answer was simple: I would go back in time.

e, now eat your haggis." I shook off Michael's arm. "I'll eat the haggis after we settle the matter," I said. mom had regained herself and glared at me. "Unbelivable," she said.

a secret grudge against her, fearing her further wet wrath. One does not openly rage against a godess. Jaime huddled miserably in her houseboat as it rocked upon Durga's tears, and

The crowd gasped. No one ever questioned the Genie, the supreme know-it-all. The Genie grew to massive size and pointed his finger at the questioner. “Dog! Prepare to receive your

ed her booty so hard that her Depends split & the Dude in the huge fedora stared at what he later described as a moldy chocolate starfish, which explained why he tipped granny 50

appeared upon the henge, sputtering and unruly, and swarthy clouds obscured the sun. If she didn't change the valves in time, the feed to the microbial Crepuscule Tabernacles would

ways..." "7," Kevin's voice came up through the vent. "You didn't do anything," Velma yelled back at him. "I stayed quiet." He had her. "Ok. 7. Less than $3 each. Not smelling it.

remove the lines painted in the center of the road. God went silent the moment the cops showed up to investigate the nude woman who was trying to lick out the pavement markings.

they put the roast beef in them. They ate all the roast beef the Arbys in Cucacamonga had on hand. The moles became bloated with the meat, lethargic. Unable to bust the drug ring.

wore new underwear for these things. He felt that coming in with skidmarks already in his underwear wasn't in the spirit of the competition. Benny knew some firefighters disagreed.

mentality of the current herd in power. They lacked the perspective to see they themselves were the very thing they detested. Seething with ennui, Emily brought her axe to work.

"Sorry about that, sir. I was just practicing and you seemed to sneak through out of nowhere. As for the object of your pursuit: I happen to know her, and you are unlikely to find

watched the drama that unfolded inside his eyelids. Geometric shapes danced to strange echoes of music, then parted to reveal a stark stage filled with ceramic weeping clowns.

Shoe Angel, or a Shangel as the Old Masters had called them. Finally, I had completed my training, and now I could fly using my shoes which were

, unknowingly opening a tiny gap through which passed approximately 3 million bacteria directly from Mrs. Johnson's infected esophagus into my perfectly welcoming nasal passage.