god like himself. He thought ahead to the day when he could tell his enemies off with just one swish of his hair. That would be the day that his life truly began.

soon his poor legs felt like they'd been fried, or sauteed with onions and garlic and a little extra-virgin olive oil. The harder the frog rode, the more delicious his legs became.

but the other guys, those lesser men, all seemed to be wearing Obsession or Old Spice that night and drinking drinks made with Absolut Vodka. I got elbowed during my sacred dance

“It’s not my boots”, his girlfriend lied, “it’s my rubber underpants squeaking, because of my incontinence”. Stunned, and grimacing, he leaned in close & sniffed her for urine.

will just have to do. Now, shall we proceed with the show?" Alton Brown nodded grimly, wanting desperately to be anywhere else at this moment. The Reynold's Wrap was starting to

were in, after spending hundreds of dollars on lottery tickets and winning next to nothing. If we had won, my wife thought we should buy a house and settle down, but I thought

"I knew it!" said Danny quite pleased with the reveal "Now, is there a particular woman that you actually like?" continued hoping to unravel the whole truth with a cheeky smirk.

the oversized fungal masses to ride bikes. They don't even have to learn how to bike without training wheels. It's just tricycles. And if the sun rises a degree to the left tomorro

it's puppertry continued, this divine being continuing to imitate a human, a person, movements one could see as gentle and questioning. i stood firm, distrustful of this presence

During a night of drunkenness and disorder, the Blue Fairy ingested the Violet Fairy, whole and alive. Above her high-pitched shriek, the now Ultraviolet Fairy was heard saying, “

Kirby started yelling, suffocating in the darkness, begging nintendo to sue, sue, sue, but

When no one was looking, she swiftly gathered up the dead man’s clothes and carried them to an abandoned JC Penny’s—where her collection of charred mannequins awaited.

I didn’t know elves could do that. Now I’ll have to be wary at corners in case of horny elves. Spent, the elf hiked up her petticoats and went on her elf way. Her ears would make

I had no idea what any of these terms meant, so I contented myself with listening to Howard's mesmerizing whatever-the-heck-he-was-doing-on-YouTube. It was quite soothing. But one

seeing how things were going with Andy Devine and Froggy, stopping momentarily to smile at Beany & Cecil and Soupy Sales, along the way, before fluttering back to Captain Kangaroo

the invisible creeps implored Zeke. All the time laying their invisible unfelt hands upon his ectoplasm. Dragging him into the unseen world. Zeke did welcome having invisible tits.

So lemme get this straight: You're handing me some bait and telling me to wait for your mate to state his weight in the... I got nothin'.

Fields of Phuque I never grew as a child. The surface of the crater was smooth glass and both abrasive and slippery; sharkskin like. At certain angles it was possible to see what

"I told you not to name the swine. Now you're seeing their corpses instead of a cornucopia of fresh pork," Ma yelled from the rumble seat turning her gravity bong up. "The skates

called them by number. What was this? Had they really been dreaming, or was this just part of a long series of dimensional twists? The first walked to the desk. The receptionist