no addiction to heroin laced with crack and a THC chaser. But who had time for that in this crazy fad-a-day world? People slaved away to make videos of playing mobile games. What

blasted the blasted heath until my blaster's batteries were out of blasting juice. So I squeezed some caterpillars out into its blast chamber to refuel my blaster and I was good to

Toast sounded about good right then, and I was pretty sure the words "Hooters", "Purple Nurples", and "Flops" were responsible for why I could suddenly smell burnt toast. Edging up

the ghost of Harry Nilsson, Oscar the Grouch (who had accidentally dropped acid and could now think outside the trash can), Lady Elaine (AWOL from the neighborhood of make-believe)

a chill pill and reassessed the situation. Sure, everything had been destroyed, but wasn't it a learning experience? The Doktor nodded sagely as the air left his lungs. Tickertape

Mummy was already unraveling & my four poster looked like a TP party. I like my trysts rubineque, but this twiggy queen had ribs obscene. I like a patella as much as the next fella

but would not cry out from the testicular pain. "Pink (snap) is not your color," he grinned, snapping the bottom of her bikini top...gasp...a fist-sized wad of tissue fell to the

which is very pissing in the wind. It would've been better if he'd made everyone retweet me or leave comments on my YouTube vids. But I understand he was busy holding up the bank.

the nimblest momeraths outgrabed me by the bundle of my pantaloons. The momeraths meant nothing but it; they just wanted to get fed, but I still let out an appalling shriek as my

why Marnie Fluggle (no relation to Barney Google), with the goo-goo-googly eyes, was merely referred to as Google, and was more of an expert on any and every subject than Fluffy,

had been at the Cone. That is what we called an unknown structure in the woods behind our house. If you went in naked it transported you to the center of the Universe as Earth's re

Daggett & Norbert, infamous in our area, creeped away through the winding dirt trails towards the river. "I wish I had my guns on me"

And absolutely form-fitting to the Goofy costume as well. See, when I say "specimen", I don't mean that he was handsome, but that he was some science experiment gone wrong. Freaks

up to Jay Stewart and the lovely Carol Merrill to quell the rebellion. Monty ignored his injured clavicle and, wincing, went on. “Let’s see what’s behind…oh Christ it hurts…door #2

Steve dashed and grabed all the zoo animals and sent them to their natural habitat, happily then he started mopping the floor, with lightning speed too.

walked into the thin air they had at that time of year in Vermont & that was that. Not only did I not know her, I didn't know I should have. The tin of maple syrup was just that,

," began Granpa. We interrupted him with "No, that was Granma." "Well, when I died of yarn poisoning," he started again. "No, Granpa" we said, "that was Granma, too. " The old man

do I spout hate! I spout hot and cold hate! I'm a regular hate-spigot! Doc, ya gotta do something to help me mend my ways before I blow a gasket. (Maybe I need a plumber?)

detain sharks that broke into fish hospitals in search of blood and whales that sang too loudly after 11pm. It wasn't an easy job, but Det.Manatee wouldn't have done anything else

, there wasn’t anyone else. “Thanks!” said a voice, which made me scream. “For the first time since the gas chambers, I think I look acceptable- or, as acceptable as a ghost can.”