Out in the open he went, Winne the Pooh was not looking.

Was the title of the space alien's book. This wasn't like that Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man." "To Kill Earth Itself" is unequivocal: to kill dirt. Dirt isn't alive anyway.

would be finished after she added just one more ingredient: a Swan's heart. If she could find a Swan's heart, she could finish the love potion and secretly give it to the two

Hoped. Mainly because Banksy gets all the press. Or the local taggers who don't remember their roots. Simple always gets complicated without roots. We come from the stars, why here

all the broken shards for later. Waste not want not, after all, and she never wasted anything, not even time, which she kept neatly folded in her laundry basket with her socks.

But John knew the real deviant secret. The Toffee company's unethical approach to making their sweet candy that only Whole Foods sold was not the organic chocolate but

"That means you're taking the option to leave it? Because that is the way it works here. Take it or leave it. You Norse gods are always this way. Except Baldur. I loved Baldur. We

in a plate of spaghetti, ruining his pants. Everyone laughed, none harder than Hermina Belinda Hunsucker herself. She knew that she and her Donut Party would win the presidential

, J. Fred Muggs, considered himself to be the Alpha male of the chimp prison and demanded obeisance from Bubbles. Inside Bubbles' primate heart, the hate began to grow. One night

use tools like my axe are not really as limited as you'd think. Which I demonstrated by beheading my attacker and at the same time fixing his spelling for him. He died serene. The

work in progress, just like the rest of us", Someone said looking at me. Geoff looked at Someone then at me began to say something and then didn't and walked away. I took my sculpt

belt jump to get through the Oort Clouds and out of the Galaxy, because all that the Human Race left behind was a small note, a picture that his Mother left behind of a place to go

bistro in Queens. Step 6: Side step everything you've just achieved in Steps 1-5 and wipe it off your thigh high Naugahyde boots that weren't made for walking, honey. Step 7: Imman

bucket of water to boil on the stove. "I don't normally approve of frozen food," Gunter scolded me, "but since it is Mark, I will make an exception." We had some difficulty lifting

The Bruno Mars pun fell as flat as my grandma's failed souffle on that one bright, sunny day in 1964. It was one of those days you never forget, but you can't bring yourself to

somehow both a reincarnation of William Blake and a concurrent incarnation of Michelle Yeoh --tbh, not too surprising. Luckily, recently I had learned about Kardecist Spiritism and

lick it back. We started licking each others until I realized someone was calling me. I looked around but I didn't see anyone.

l. Then Penelope's Chauffeur pulled up & said, "Silliness, my lady did you think you could give me the slip? Get in your father the king is annoyed." Penelope tried to explain but

eat horse apples while astride "Arrrrr " winner of the 2008 Saratoga Sweeps. I thought, "Do horses regurgitate cud?" I guess they enjoy it. Like having a chaw under their horsy lip

little monsters, believing that as their adopted mother, she would be spared. But no. As soon as they'd lost their milk-teeth they chewed off her arms and swallowed them. Armless,