“But we need you!” the Officer insisted. Det.Manatee sighed and took out the pipe from his mouth. He gazed longingly out of the window. “I left that line of work long ago...” he

I do not take this descent into solipsism lightly. I know what kinds of traps I've most likely left myself. One thing I know is that as much as I want to know myself, somethings I

My longevity solution was to add water. I just had to get that down before I forgot it.

I took my meds a while ago. I guess I should really look into that whole breakfast thing. It doesn't seem all that cool now that there is actual work involved. My will is still in

My cats wore me out. They were the hit of the party. The only pithy thing that Meowlle could come up was to compare my eyes to a full moon after a couple baby mice. My cats purred.

The accuracy or veracity of what I am about to say is beyond question. It is also beyond answer. Lets just say it is beyond and leave it at that. All that also applies in here. If

"I've heard of it." "How can you have heard of it if I just made it up right now?" "I guess I must have heard it from you then." "Oh yeah, you were here. Lets go foist it somewhere

I had planned on making a simple grilled cheese on pumpernickel but then Bulimia said she wanted a peppercorn mayonnaise and arugula on hers. Now I wanted sprouts, feta, & avocado.

It's a pipe dream because it's the dream you have after I wop your head with a pipe. What else did you think it meant? Come to think of it, maybe I haven't hit you hard enough yet.

I remembered that in the first Charlie Brown Goes to Hell dream we were in dugout catamarans fleeing down the Gambeezi River from a shitload of Weebles trying to make us fall down.

I remember dodging a pirate's sword and dropping the microphone into the fishtank but I don't remember anything about these sutures on my chest or the large naked woman in my bed.

I thought I had a unique perspective on this whole becoming whole situation. I do but not any more unique that anybody else's perspective. That is so unfair to me. I'm the only one

You gotta have a game plan for everything. I mean everything. Three months ago I saw that I did not have any peanut better. I didn't want any then but I knew this day was coming.

Electrogravitix presents our new Caviar series. Arrays of smaller EG nodes provide greater lift and propulsion for less power, and require less shielding for more efficient ship

I thought I was singing over the body of Electra, who I am told was a farrior's fishwife. Instead I was saying grace, & Your Grace, & Your Majesty. Begrudgingly, I also had to say

The cat thought me tamed & I could live with that. For now. I was rewarded with all the usual pleasures, virtues, vices, & women who knew their way around a whip. When the vice was

The New Elephant Man is the Mandela Effect of 2019. Believe it or don't. Some of us remember the New Elephant Man while most of you only ever had the one.

I'm going to speak you and your son forever because the pair of you disappoint.

Ted was at the Saezl Family Reunion/Speed Dating function at the WeBilhkue Resort Hotel in the center of Dilley Texas, Watermelon Capital of the World. Ted was on his third cousin.

once upon a drumbeat I spilled my guts out for you. you only went through them to see the future and then fed me to the dogs. i curse that drumbeat and the whores it rode on.