In our small village, the School Teacher was an important person. She stood in equal standing with the Witch Doctor, the Medical Doctor, the Apothecary, and the Alchemist. She,

Who knew that Habanero and Pumpernickel went so well together? "I didn't," said their daughter.

I was born and raised in Sun City; I've lived here my entire life--all fifty years of it--without once coming down with as much as a sniffle--until today. I guess I should move

The little bastard was racing up and down the aisles--the Spanx aisles--giving all the middle-aged women a combination titty-twister/ass-grab. Ten...couldn't have been older than

The Stone That Wouldn't Listen. Chapter One in which Boris gets their coats. In anticipation of their imminent departure, Papa motioned for Boris to go see to our coats. Snow was

Yes...even the most desperate of desperados have moments of weakness...sometimes, that weakness leads them toward their demise...sometimes that weakness leads them toward salvation

At present, I am--when it comes to writing this opening fold--apprehensively lazy...but for posterity, I will acquiesce to your sensibilities only if you maintain the status quo.

Okay. Let's try this. The subject is Chico and the Man...more particularly, the Man...John the Subject was Roses, Grandpa Joe to some, Manny Rosen to others. Call me Jack Albertson

This is the goal: Fanny...the beach...food poisoning must all appear in the last line of this fold. Fanny loved taking a lunch to the beach on her days off from work. She made tuna

I had managed to stay two sheets to the wind for a fortnight--the entire length of my summer holiday--and was faced with the eventuality of my being an alcoholic, but I quickly

Scientists discovered that the real reason behind global warming was that the giant living inside the Earth had turned the heating up.

Privately, Hrengor the Beholder tried to soothe The Dragon Shajra-Rajrah. "Sincerely, we are not mocking you by floating above our meditation mats. We are happy to abide with you."

As Hrengor the Beholder made his selections in the produce section. some jackass with an open-carry license targeted him. "You put that basket and those veggies down, you monster."

All things begin and end. I thought I'd never get through elementary, Junior, Senior, military, Community College, University, marriage, infidelity, divorce, giggolo, fatherhood.

"Mister LaForge, why aren't you at your post?" Geordie handed Picard a cardboard box. "Sir, some people from our past have sent us little wrapped soaps using Forever Stamps."

He was the typical armchair quarterback...under pressure, with no time to spare, dark wet spots on his Polo armpits, choke, choke, choke...and all the while, bragging about prowess

This IS the Age of Mediocrity...the Age of Social Prejudice...I truly wanted to make a good impression, to act macho; so, I said, "Is that the face that sunk a thousand ships?"

If I had to spend my existence as a bug, I would want that existence to be monumental...profound...I would want to cohabitate with as many female bugs there were in a lifetime

I hated waking up to the sound of a bee trying to escape the inside of a styrofoam cup. Then I'd see the old man open the top of the electric razor and sprinkle the white powder on

I truly was about to have an accident. I raced into the McDonalds and headed toward the rear, towards the men's room, but an Out of Order sign hung from the door...before I could