You can’t break any rules without a good understanding of them. They say he was born with the gift of Gab; Gab being the head manipulator of rules, truth, idealism, and democracy.

Horace had had enough of beans & franks; he had his eye on an entirely different dish, a more sophisticated form of charmer, a cross between liver and onions, and steak tartare.

You can’t break any rules without a good understanding of them. They say he was born with the gift of Gab; Gab being the head manipulator of rules, truth, idealism, and democracy.

When you glanced past the shabby clothing and entangled hair, past the gobbledygook of genuine and new-fangled ignorance, you come to the realization that everybody loves a clown.

Stanley Grave made the grave mistake of believing he was grandiose when he wasn’t even grand. Teddy Fink was a fink, fat & finicky, which made him an overweight fink with friends.

With his intellectual deficiency on display, Chumley showed up to Army Basic Training with a deck of poker cards, bingo chips, and a box of fluorescent green Mega Big Boy condoms.

It’s tough being a nymphomaniac at 99, but that’s what I am. Had a grand total of 1,999 lovers; for obvious reasons, I’d like one more before retiring. Sadly, no one wants to bed

"The problem with the 17th Clade is that they keep bothering the incarnates!" Yeah, the poor 17th Clade. Post-incarnate, transfinite, and still grasping for agency in a problematic

"Hah," said Hrajor. "You became incarnate again just to take the dark-matter shuttle to our little food court, the day after Hrengor went on vacation. Respectable, respectful, and

After the ghosts of ancient Mars wiped out the proud Earth-ninnies of the Tharsis Ridge Condo Association, Vending Machine 18 still stood, offering nothing but cold light and coils

"Panoma Chrah," he/it or let's just say Pnuh said in a way that seemed to indicate some kind of autumnal resignation. Pnuh was my little brother Andrew, back in a new chassis, but

"Hah. Hathaway. I don't know how or whether to greet you. You're an unsettled searcher, that I can understand. Are you really the white supremacist you seem to be?" Lewis had five

"I like the cut of your jib, Sir. I won't deny it." The Uber driver looked at the lady in the back. She was beaming a big smile at him. "Thank you. I didn't know I had a cut jib."

I discovered last night that I can not sleep with socks on. They snag on the blankets just enough that on top of my restless legs I could do without. Gerard Manley Hopkins's God's

When I awoke I found myself inside an empty crude oil storage silo. The only like came from the open hatch at the top of the tank, some 200 feet above me. I doubted being lowered.

I knew what was coming when I closed my eyes and saw the bleeding hotdogs pleading with their ISIL captors. Sure enough, when I opened them my mother-in-law had come for a "visit".

A visit that required she bring her whole bedroom set & a neighbor. ("To get her around.") Where is she going to sleep? "She can sleep on the floor by my bed." I looked at my wife.

My glare must have reminded her about the roast because she said, "Oh, the roast" and fled the room. I sighed inside and turned to face my mother-in-law. "No need for suck drastic

For some unknown reason, I can neither say nor spell asdfjlgt8eh. See what I mean? I'm sure the real asdljeiis, doesn't have any of those letters in it. Or sounds when I try to say

It wasn't a secret that he was doing this under duress. Everybody understood that was the real message. It just happened to be Ted this time. It could've been any of you. Or me. It