It was a good thing Elsa was on board the train. She single-breathedly got the train running. In fact, it ran so well that she had to stop breathing lest she send us into the

At any second now, the toilet would overflow! This is what happens when you don't wait until tea time exactly to have tea time. She and the little green creatures would learn the

True, I had dated other female carrots before, but my heart was no longer in it. And I had a pigeon in my stomach. I was not sure of the pigeon's sexual preferences, but by now, it

making Macklemore-flavored macarons. Jonah (not quite his real name) cried foul. Jeenah (soon to be his real name) guffawed and high-fived the judges.

him, but Bruno's alcohol-induced coma and spouting of eldritch beings left him dead as a doorknob to the world. Peggy shook him more, but just then, the Ravers returned! After 20

anordyslexia where they only screwed up spelling short words. The Hulk's babies needed to be stopped, and how else do you stop babies than with a giant spike press? Tell me a more

He felt the pull of the string at the back of his neck and heard a voice that was not his own, nor was it his client. Outside, perched on a trash can, a discarded Danny O'Day doll

with less misogynistic tendencies, and plowed it over some workmen who were hooting at Lolita's generous bottom just before she fell. Quilty was horrified as the magic carpet went

-stead of it's intended landing target on the plains of Titan. The astrocows smell brisket and realize their mistake just in time to over-ride the cowship's autopilot and land on

"Which is infinity plus one, in ordinal terms known as omega, number of days." the judge ordered. "Ah, then there is no incentive not to escape, no?" "No one can escape the dungeon

come we can't get room service in this dump?" whinged the ghosts. "Because the waffles drop right through you and we have to call the janitor in!" thundered the hotel manager.

"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't

into the septic tank at the Iced Tea Car Shield corporate headquarters. Suffice it to say, Iced Tea was really upset when he heard the rock banshee getting it on with Coco Austin

but at the end of the day it was my signature on the compact that was needed. You haven't yet proved yourself sufficiently worthy of such a miracle, eh." Larew glared harder. Fat

beverages down his gullet as he undulated to a tune that only he could hear. "Oh crap," howled one of the cats, "Chaney is toasted again. We must restore order!" So the five cats

Ariadne the Lesser Gorgon's favorite dish for a while. But I didn't care. She wasn't a full Gorgon so she couldn't turn me to stone with her glare. She hated to be reminded of it.

counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She

but to little avail. It wasn't that the director didn't find their act convincing, it was just that he was an asshole. Kind of like an actor. "No, no, you fucking fuckwits! Why

Sarah Lee Mock Humble Pie. He finally admitted that he was dying to try it but didn’t think he could stomach mocking humble. Which is why he wanted me to get mocked first. Sounds

that he had listed on a note. His first subject was Philandry 101. Lance knew he would claim Crown's Privilege over his own forays into such saucy trimmings. His next subject was