Something about it being illegal now, given the recent military coup d'etat that made everyone's life miserable. It was Mad Max out there instead. I understood and backed off. Then

The website design and the censors. The latter have been coming after us with meat cleavers, dressed like Lady Gaga, whom we cannot stand.

Took out their cannisters of spazzeroid dust and aimed at me. I had a teflon shield on so they were catapulted into Galaxy N25. I got my revenge.

was a downright rotter, so I divorced him and decided to swear off football players for life. I decided to try tennis players instead, but they were too

if he was a catfish on a plate and it was dinnertime. Anyway, my opinions are not appreciated by my fellow workers at the panda husbandry department at the Bronx Zoo, but I have

So Xe crawled under the cinema seats in search of dropped change with which to buy more candy. What he found there was a whole under-seat world inhabited by chewed gum people and

life on the planet, but were still struggling with developing their own written language and couldn't agree on spellings, which considerably slowed their progress. Blyrk decided

him to in drag to protect his identity. Lionel was uncomfortable in the heels, but found the tube top to be rather freeing, in a way. Jenny was always pulling this sort of stunt

direction until it lands in Tiny Tim's ukulele, which counts as a double score. Triple, if you can get Tiny Tim to open a winery with you. Reggie was determined to win this, but

Apparently, that was the only place where anyone had freedom in the Post-everything era. There was no central bank there, ever, nor were there any food riots. They read the Onion.

obliterated from the page I wrote on from the sheer acidic makeup of my breath at the time. "God, that dip was ferocious", I said to Wolfie, whose face melted even as I spoke.

Completely renovate the living room so the kids could play Pokemon Go without having to go outdoors and risk being run over by a car because their heads were always down.

They grew six kinds of grapes and used old French recipes. The Chardonnay was especially succulent on a hot July day. What to name it? Colonel Rumplecheeks suggested

hammers on his bench util the cleaning lady gave them to charity. Jenkins the Leprechaun was not feeling too lucky at this point, and prayed for a rainbow under which he might

and paper cups of tepid chai latte with what used to be our initials in the foam. The universe looked at me, and I at it, and gradually the caffeine kicked in and

But alas, no intact feathers could be found. We did, however, have plenty of clowns. The Creepy Tent down the lane had been producing them at alarming rates. So we glued clowns

"I don't believe in caning anything, that's too violent, but I suppose I could live with reins, if you must," muttered Hilda the Horse. Frankly she was surprised that anyone had

Was that any reason to torment them further? So they took their cause to the streets, carrying signs that said : "Abnormal Americans Need Gloves to Cover Their Hideous Hands".

The Chief Llama called for an independence referendum for the elephants and cows. There was a rally at Fountain Square, where the Chief Llama spoke:

2 0 to leak from his eyes. Picking up steam at the flare of the nostrils and then careening into the canyonlike lip fold, the saltiness seeping past his pursed lips to tickle his