"But I'd never kill anything," she answered, her voice trembling at the thought. Teddy Ruxpin frowned. This girl was not the pliable minion he had assumed. "But they will kill you

splashed out the toilet bowl. "Fucking dammit!" Andrei said. "I've got to go to work! I don't have time for this shit!" She started clubbing the toilet with the plunger in fury.

Bobby had a timetable worked out for when he took over dominion of the dark side. Cthulhu & the other Old Ones had let the survivors turn the world against them while they slept.

Three anthropomorphic hamsters resembling the three stooges hopped out of the Kia and posed, and I have to admit, they had me convinced. "I just need fifty-three cats relocated

e-maid popcorn of three parts prune juice vinegar, two parts Ecto Cooler™, and stir with a rectal thermometer. Everyone has to make it in bartending school, and classes are only on

"That's hardly an excuse. It should be fresh on your mind!" argued the very bratty homunculus. The doc was this close to jamming him back up into that hamster water bottle where he

lorded over the lard in the larder, she could not stand asparagus. "Sorry, Mom; I have to go vanquish homunculi," she would say as she rushed out the door, oversized spatula in her

That got people started. After all, as I always say: "No such thing bad publicity!" Do you have any idea how difficult it is to wear a hat with a flat head? My green skin clashed

Not literally--that would be horrid! But cuttlefish goulash has trans fats, which are illegal in most states. However, there was a little trick I picked up in preseminary school

potato as "potahto". Xorxblat was afraid the stories were true, that the Mother Brain computers were defective. He was znorphing lost. He should've turned left at the last quasar.

exotic alien dildos in many fluorescent colors?" "By George, I think you've got it, George," the not-George character said. So they went down to TJ Maxx together, debit cards ready

to his website: ChixWithDixDotCom.com. The Dolly Llama had broken his own cardinal rule: "I before E except after C all these minorities being driven to the concentration camp".

cling the Twin Pines mall every Tuesday. Brian wasn't what you'd call a bright man. Or a man. But he was the loudest fucking vocalist The Holy Lost had ever had--ANY band ever had.

She's been working in a potato chip factory ever since her incident, and nobody can even remember her name. So she divorced Lot and got a little dog named Pepper. Since then, her

cried both of the Cojoined sisters as they checked into the dial-in orphanage. But life became nicer for Fifi and Deedee, after that. They met a nice boy with a parasitic twin.

utum. Now no one could stop him and his stando, King Crimson, who had a tiny face on top of his face that went "bleedleedleedle" when he glad, he mad, or he sad. A big red nose day

ripped the outhouse off its feet, and the ferocious high-speed projectile Booboo spawned was enough to ignite the fuel to the speeding car, which resulted in another explosion. "Uh

Somehow, he did not think this OkCupid meetup was going very well. He spun around on his heels to try and sneak out, but there was Richard, smoking a joint and reeking of vodka.

began the ancient chant to summon the administration to come fix all the bugs cropping up in the site. It mostly consisted of listing compound words including the word "cock", then

-gal growth from Lego's unwashed socks had spread onto the fake Spock ears he used to wear to Star Trek conventions. But now he had no head to attach them to. He would have wept,