a tip. Franz the Giant can't keep track of the difference between a tip & a trick at Halloween. Red found herself wishing that the Big Bad Wolf was around to deliver this pizzababy

eat that on a clean conscience, and deprive the Madagascan lemurs of a meal?" I chortled, like the selfish pig I am. Sustainable eating was for chumps. I was a callous vegetarian.

therefore stopping this rhyming business right here and now!" And with a snort, it turned on its hooves and loped into the breeding field. I wasn't about to argue with the steer,

She tried to grab it out of her mouth, but the spider kept crawling, down her esophagus and into her stomach, the jalapeno oil on its legs burning the poor lady's entire throat!

like a unicorn's sweet sweet sweat?" Mac sniffed the air. He didn't smell anything remotely smelling like a unicorn's sweet sweet sweat. "I'll take your word for it." The blind man

Below that, an even smaller sig read: "Disregard all previous signs". The crone behind the counter cackled. The sound was like seventeen ice-laden pine trees falling in the woods.

and the seven sister starts of the Pleiades put on go-go boots and shimmied in formation. Saturn shook its rings and Orion stood on one foot and played flute like Ian Anderson.

or SMORGENDORFUS. People loved walking through the aisles of IKEA and chuckling at the absurd names I invented. Apparently that outweighed the fact that my designs were haunted.

the drapes. "Err, no thanks, I've decided to go vegan," I stammered as I backed away from the mannequin family and toward the door. "Don't go," said the Dad figure, as a plaster

While u bribe your way to the top of the mountain by sticking your fangs into the human fountain I’ll Smile and grin at the rednecks on the ground Pick up my hammer & sickle

a multitude of hungry and disillusioned diners. Propecia's dinner date didn't like crowds, so he left Propecia to hold their place in the line while he popped off to do a spot of

ilt. From there, he makes his way up (careful to avoid the nether region) and pops his cute little head out from under my shirt. Manticore cubs are just the cutest.

A storm out of the building and into a nearby park and try to relax, "I just need to take a break" I say. I'm still in denial, but maybe a break is what I need. I spontaneously

that a police negotiator be summoned to try & talk the jumper down. "It's Dad up there!" he scolded Todd. "Dad!" James screamed, "Don't jump! We won't send you to Golden Age Manor!

eaky making us feel the sense of reality even though it mirrors our lives in all seven sides which causes illusions doubting our faiths and destinys. The circle on the other hand

The mountain gulls laid waste to the continent in a matter of weeks. They overthrew and consumed many politicians, usurped and burped many prominent businessmen and people of int-

my facial hair, sensibly weaved, plucked, and tweezed into any image he could concoct —fill in the blanks…but he was upset: he loves me for who I am, menopausal mustache and all.

Lucifer never was big on education, leading by example, since it netted him the most damned souls. That and celebrities. But something was missing in Lucifer's life: Retirement.

"It's derived from pork extracts." My brother said from behind my back. I put it back on the shelf. "The Crablin don't have a sufficiently refined taste to know the difference."

Steve Buscemi with a summer cold. Being a bit self conscious about his posture the fellow straightened his spine while remaining on his hands & knees. The Steve Buscemi fly was not