as is typical for these kind of days. "Please clarify, ma'am, are you or your house or both on fire?" Before I could answer the 911 dispatcher the line went dead. The melted base

costume, his statement clearly at odds with his attempts to get out of his own. By now he had a nuanced appreciation for every other schmuck who'd vomited in the Skylark's head.

, where they landed, set out to build a Utopian city for troubled toddlers. Regrettably, Don de Con built a brothel for the mentally awkward out of popsicle sticks & Lincoln Logs

on their heads and showing off for Mrs. Lem, who looked away, unimpressed. "Why don't you gentlemen, police and Charlie Sheens all go jump off a cliff," she suggested. With that

My friends insisted that having a neck caved in by necrosis worked for me. It brought out my bone structure, they said. My mom complained that I was costing her enough in concealer

By the time they were saved from the island they were both Counts of Monte Cristo. Nbody but Kevin and Doug knew how the pipework worked in that whole shebang. The ninja chefs recr

in love the way a debutante might dabble in art," Quayfagbhay would say vaguely. I could tell by his blush that he had loved Hungry, though that love had not be requited. Then one

time watch all of my space keys rising up in the Rapture. On their way to opening new dimensions for the traveling passion show this universe turned out to be. We never suspected o

John Henry stood in the corner coughing up bloody phlegm. “That Doc is spreading Covid”, the criminal cried. DHM and I stopped laughing. Bat Masterson walked in, asking, “Covid?

with vomit after triggering her gag reflex. Ms. Chodderstein caught one whiff of that spew and tossed her cookies directly into Professor Finkelstein's third martini.

Vomit was my companion tonight. The acid in my throat kept me awake. A cobra on my right arm would have been rad. All in black and white. But now that she was pregnant.

an airship. There wasn't a body of water for lightyears in any direction. "Perverts trying to balance the economy, what a joke," she mumbled as she took their tray. But thank God,

have one thing lead to another without risking rejection. Jakob sighed and pressed the SUBMIT key. Maybe there's another brown dwarf

-ated by. M. Popeye, dropped & blew his pipe. The blow turned into a fog horn; alerting the Gendarmerie. M. Popeye caught the pipe & used it to reach Pierre's corpse in the Seinne

whispered in her ear, the more she sprayed Gabriel with everything she had at hand that came in a spray bottle. It was clear that Gabriel only believed in one-way communication, so

"Ouch," said little Johnny as a duck hit his head as it flew by. However, as the ducks began to drop the softballs on the ground, the whole community was pleased to finally have

about it? "Yes and he insists that they stopped producing that model in 1979 due to errant behavior. THey kept becoming sentient." "That doesn't help us at all." It's what I found

Glyph-Cipher but you can call me Vajg. We haven't had a new girl in here in ages. Did the Motherhouse send you? I ask because we have seen some true believers. We have to see to th

swamp life. The swampfolk suddenly find themselves under attack. President Shrek said so. The was drastic hyperbole or demagoguery, most likely. Can't we go back to a golden time?

his unwritten folding stories spilled out intent on finding a new writer so that they'd see the dark of night. Which is how we ended up in these dungeons under the profaned church.