I discovered a loophole in the rules of polite society & started using a laptop bag as a manpurse. Trouble was, I could never find anything in there. One time at Victor's Surprise

The cat on the mantle was conducting experiments in gravity. It was trying to prove the hypothesis, "If you push something hard enough, it will fall over."

If I became a billionaire, I would buy the biggest marshmallow in the world. It would be large enough to build a museum inside. There would also be

What is the center of gravity?

Nobody bought the 50 lbs. bag of groats at the whole foods market. It had been placed way in the back behind the flax seed crumpets. There, it sprouted tendrils and became sentient

I've always wondered why they called them Buffalo Wings. I was pretty sure buffaloes didn't have wings, and if they did, they were pretty damn useless. Kinda like a T-Rex's arms.

"Pancakes.. again? Don't you ever have me cook you anything else?" Mattie asked Gill, playfully acting annoyed. Gill just smiled innocently, though he was anything but that.

"I'll take the Whiskey battered bourbon bangers and a side of Soho Chips, and for dessert I'll take the deep fried giant Snickers bars, oh, and

I decided to actively research my hypothesis that intelligence could be drastically increased by culling weak brain cells. I felt smarter already. I opened

FoldingStory is a place where creativity and catharsis meet. The friends I make on FS are people I really don't know, but come to "meet" regularly for more fun than I could ever

(Based on a true story) On nights like this, my dad would go to the garage, turn on the UV lights, and suck up moths with a vacuum cleaner.

"Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.""PersiennePersiennePersienne""No meio do caminho tinha uma pedra.Tinha uma pedra no meio do caminho."Five languages she spoke and poetry still

The slow motion aliens have finally landed. Everything in the world slowed down to a crawl. "It is to teach the human race patience & to learn to take time to smell the roses," the

The density of a lap cat increases proportional to the distance an owner is from a remote control.

I had the nightmare again last night. Always the same. Having added to all existing stories, all I could do was create more. I needed to get to a FA meeting badly.

The crouched, shivering figure of a girl sat upon her bed. Tears rolled down her face as more chocked sobs escaped her throat. She was crying because

It was the greatest thing since sliced bread. It was doughy, compact, had a long shelf life. Sure it was squishy but is also cheap. People didn't love it, but they bought it. It wa

I'm that guy, the one who talks at the movie theatre. Shushes sustain me. Bad dialogue gives me purpose. During "Spider-Man," I added a well-placed "yeah right" to the part when

After finishing my fold, I found I had written more words than the gospel, William Shakespeare's sonnets, and The Firm, combined. I then decided to self-publish my work, entitled

Ned was a country hobo and slept on a bed of thistledown, woke to the morning lark's song, washed in a mountain stream, and begged for handouts from the forest fauna.