CLASSIFIED: When SlimWhitman reaches 10,000 points in FoldingStory, this website will self-destruct within 30 seconds.

...then the door locks and in four hours your oven is clean! I was impressed how the high temperatures scoured the cooked-on grease, but I forgot that I had left inside a

I have recently noticed that some Folders are using Shark Lady, Det. Manatee, and Mrs. Quackenbush as characters in a trifle many (did I just use an oxymoron?) folds..any others?

It isn't every day that I day but almost.

I live in fear at Starbucks. I am a Barrista of misery, for I suffer from alien hand syndrome.

A big pale lantern hangs in the sky. I feel a lust to howl at the moon, and I'm not alone. AARRROOOOOOOOOOO AAAAROOOOOOOO AAAROOOOOOOOOOO

"God no, don't, you'll kill yourself," my bawling wife implored as she pulled at my robe sleeve. I batted her arms away. "Stand aside, woman! I am going to submit 100 folds today

The demonolgist's day job was painting lines in parking lots. This went well until the winter solstice

Wilfred Brimley scowled at the children at the table. "Eat your Goddam oatmeal!" he spat, spraying bits of Jimmie Dean sausage & scrambled egg across the table into their terrified

I propose that the town of "North Pole" shall be henceforth known by the name "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Furthermore during voting on this measure affirmation shall be indicated by the phrase

No one would every guess my password. I took the numbers 1 through 5, and typed them in ... backwards!

so there is a reasonable explanation for all of this: it wasn't my fault because it was DESTINY i tell you, DESTINY. it was fate that had me eat your pudding cup, FATE!

Frederick fished, fairly fraught from ferocious food. Forgiving Felicity for fondly following Frank, Frederick fastened feathers for fast flight. Frederick flew freely from Franc

What on Earth are you going to say to this, I wonder?

I looked down. -ETA?-. I typed -Can't text. Driving.- I looked up just before impacting an oak tree at 65 mph. I had neither a seatbelt nor a windshield but a large gust of wind

He was a melancholic phlegmatic with a mission: have the lowest score on FoldingStory. After months of research he had discovered that the folds that got the least amount of points

A good-hearted woodcutter was about to chop down a mighty tree when the tree spoke. "In return for my life, I will grant you three wishes," she cried. The woodcutter decided not to

How to Erotically Caress a Nose. 1) Breathe. Breathing's important. 2) To avoid startling the subject, approach from sideways on. 3) Position the nose at a 50 degree angle. 4) Shak

The wedding invite said, "Bring a suit." So what if mine was bright canary hazmat with a gas-mask helmet! I was on time!

Give a hand to our researcher, Bob Simons, author of the Bestselling book: "Worlds Beyond Our Own FoldingStory" and "Why Our Lives are Weird and Disconnected, and other Answers"