Finished Folds (1141—1160)
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7It was a stunning observation; it was indisputably true. As a toaster oven, the notion of "friend' is impossible. The best one can hope for is "responsible owner". Dr Cosmo closed
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5of pick-up dynamics. Dr. Krylon had not tested his theories in public before. Donning the googly eyeglasses, he strutted towards the sexiest
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5Glub was the first, and the best -- but you can be better. Courage. Determination. And above all, fear of drowning." She gulped, but then toughened, and nodded. He tossed her into
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2open a seam beneath a volcano which reaches to the ocean, drawing in a massive school of sharks, therefore resulting in a dreaded 'sharkcano'? This possibility has terrified me
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4your hair in restaurant waste, you must walk backwards over a quarter mile of hot coals, wear a suit of glass shards to social events for a month, and then, only then, will you be
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3until the day that followed he was admired by everyone in the county. But on that fateful afternoon, while receiving a Medal of Odour from the mayor, a lightning bolt from a sudden
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4the clones good ole grandaddy used to attract. "Hello there, cutie!" She began to giggle, but then sneezed, blowing me several miles into a fallow field. Allergies! By God, I had
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6an entire battalion to the outpost colony on Io. Now, it was time to make a decision on which battalion. The Orphans? The Baseball Furies? The Turnbull AC's? The clacking was
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4He dropped to his knees and sobbed. His beloved Kalashnikov had been brutally dismantled in the most visible act of gun violence the community had ever witness. I helped him to
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3we knew there had to be an angle. "Facebook. Twitter!" I removed my clown shoe and began to gavel the podium. My fellow clowns just stared at me with their idiotic painted on faces
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5and grown and grown until her immense weight sunk the N. American continent. The Grych (formerly the Artist Formerly Known as The Grinch) dove to punishing depths to try to rescue
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7feel it welling up in my extremities, my forehead, my buttocks. I had breasts where I'd never had breasts before! Those fried eggs had something special in them: cumin? neutrons?
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3had crippled the joints of his conjoined twin, who had mysteriously aged at a rate three time that of his own. Maybe it was time to consider that surgical procedure recommended by
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2The explosion leveled six city blocks. Amidst the rubble, a crying child emerged, dragging a dismembered Pooh doll by its ear. Encrusted with soot, the child ignored the bodies
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5His fedora wore a fedora as well, and that fedora yet another. This infinite progression of fedoras was proof of the symmetry of the universe, balancing the progression of turtles
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4Momentarily shaken, but not defeated, he embarked on a career in the next best vocation: professional baseball third-baseman. At his size, he was surprisingly agile and made
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2Jeffrey replaced the head and gonads into the freezer and ran to the bedroom to pack. The cops would be there any minute. He'd have to risk jumping to the next rooftop if there was
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3his ignorance of quantum finance and kicked him in the liver machine which rattled and whirred in a horrible manner. "If I was Ayn Rand, I'd slit your pathetic throat." Seething,
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4directly into the rotating blades of the ceiling fan. His legs, stronger than he had realized, had propelled him to a grizzly, but rather amusing, demise. I finished my crepes and
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3Clinton, who had emerged from the lips of a massive vulva. He wiped the slime from his sleeve and flung it into the campfire. "Gentlemen, I have a unique proposition and it's only