talks to buy out DateSite, a dating website of all things. Schlomo grunted advice to fill out my profile: "My name is Davros, a 143-year-old man with a strong science background."

to know what to substitute all the sugar with in the Redwall cookbook. She could use egg whites for the eggs of course, but Mrs. Hedgehog couldn't remember if any recipe used them.

He felt the pull of the string at the back of his neck and heard a voice that was not his own, nor was it his client. Outside, perched on a trash can, a discarded Danny O'Day doll

with less misogynistic tendencies, and plowed it over some workmen who were hooting at Lolita's generous bottom just before she fell. Quilty was horrified as the magic carpet went

-stead of it's intended landing target on the plains of Titan. The astrocows smell brisket and realize their mistake just in time to over-ride the cowship's autopilot and land on

hoarse by the time he hit grade school, but we were going for a nightcore sort of thing. Tom Brady-Evangeline and I were doing meth by age 6, like most millennial-boomer advocates,

Keheda was following Dehuai's footsteps in the Demon's Gate Invocation, so Yuri Volte Hyuga teamed up with Nicola Tesla and his plumber pigeon entourage to save Australia. "Ods

And who could stop the Craving? No one, for who could stop your craving? It was as certain as death and taxes. Like the fundamental problem of economics, there it was - cravings...

r, plastic as the day we bought him. Sparky was starting to look good to Cassandra. Cassandra was a Sim from The Sims, and redecorated other Sims' homes to ugly abominations. Ray

Motivation was found dead in a pool of its own blood. The funny thing is, it can't really die by its own hands. Paradoxical suicide. It was murdered a la the Orient Express. Fading

was stricken from the alphabet for its rude entendres. Alphabetti Spaghetti had to be recalled from store shelves. "None of this 'pee pee' business!" said Oprah Judy, dictator-for-

It was the recipe for Jesus' waterwalking sandals, a Joseph patent original and family secret. He wagged his tail. As soon as he finished making himself a pair, he was going to

that his subordinate drug dealer was elbow deep inside at the moment. After cleaning the chunks of vomit from my keyboard, I continued the story of El Chapo's pride for smuggling

began sharpening the butcher knife that Santa kept in his desk. Comet knew that Santa always kept it near, in the unlikely event that the reindeer would revolt. Rudolph's time was

your Mom. Anyway, as I was saying, as the seaweed casserole is baking, slice three igneous rocks into this ribbons with a laser, douse with kerosene and pepper liberally. This will

throwing to commemorate their liberation from the dark years they had suffered under Count Chocula. Many kappa had lost their breakfasts in the struggle, but in the end, the tengu

ways liked the scent of pine. It was a conundrum. By the time Angus buried Enos, the squad had moved on far ahead. The Communist army would defeat the equine invasion. There wasn't

t out by the odor of puppy kisses. Chernobyl 2; you're there! The Russo-Chinese conspiracy to enact World War III, & you're there! I'm asleep in my room and you are there! Get out!

and they would only refund a penny of your price, even though the train derailed and some little kid got an elongated penny. But when Penny was tied to the tracks, the train had to

with that he spun the ship back around, so the dead one could be buried in his place of birth. But Neptune had other ideas. The great sea god had no intention of honoring the