hoarse by the time he hit grade school, but we were going for a nightcore sort of thing. Tom Brady-Evangeline and I were doing meth by age 6, like most millennial-boomer advocates,

Keheda was following Dehuai's footsteps in the Demon's Gate Invocation, so Yuri Volte Hyuga teamed up with Nicola Tesla and his plumber pigeon entourage to save Australia. "Ods

r, plastic as the day we bought him. Sparky was starting to look good to Cassandra. Cassandra was a Sim from The Sims, and redecorated other Sims' homes to ugly abominations. Ray

Motivation was found dead in a pool of its own blood. The funny thing is, it can't really die by its own hands. Paradoxical suicide. It was murdered a la the Orient Express. Fading

was stricken from the alphabet for its rude entendres. Alphabetti Spaghetti had to be recalled from store shelves. "None of this 'pee pee' business!" said Oprah Judy, dictator-for-

It was the recipe for Jesus' waterwalking sandals, a Joseph patent original and family secret. He wagged his tail. As soon as he finished making himself a pair, he was going to

that his subordinate drug dealer was elbow deep inside at the moment. After cleaning the chunks of vomit from my keyboard, I continued the story of El Chapo's pride for smuggling

began sharpening the butcher knife that Santa kept in his desk. Comet knew that Santa always kept it near, in the unlikely event that the reindeer would revolt. Rudolph's time was

your Mom. Anyway, as I was saying, as the seaweed casserole is baking, slice three igneous rocks into this ribbons with a laser, douse with kerosene and pepper liberally. This will

throwing to commemorate their liberation from the dark years they had suffered under Count Chocula. Many kappa had lost their breakfasts in the struggle, but in the end, the tengu

ways liked the scent of pine. It was a conundrum. By the time Angus buried Enos, the squad had moved on far ahead. The Communist army would defeat the equine invasion. There wasn't

t out by the odor of puppy kisses. Chernobyl 2; you're there! The Russo-Chinese conspiracy to enact World War III, & you're there! I'm asleep in my room and you are there! Get out!

and they would only refund a penny of your price, even though the train derailed and some little kid got an elongated penny. But when Penny was tied to the tracks, the train had to

with that he spun the ship back around, so the dead one could be buried in his place of birth. But Neptune had other ideas. The great sea god had no intention of honoring the

Knowing similarities to previous media were the only route to greenlighting my pilot, I nodded as genuinely as I could. Now I just had to film "Verne and Shelby" at Mt. Dew HQ. For

amount of pillows could build the fort that would keep Loquacia out. Aunt Mukey hid her food stamps in the deepest recesses of this cushion labyrinth, which was visible from space.

but when you're near me, I'm in the Mood for Love". "OMG! Take off that witch's face, Susan," I scolded my little rat friend, "before you accidentally cast a spell!" Just then, a

Surprise, & Dead Skunk, Believe it or not, Dead Skunk smells a lot nicer than these dead hobos when they're ripe. Did I mention we're the largest dead hobo storage on the mainline?

of the Year that year was none other than the photographer for Person of the Year for Time Magazine. "I'm so Metrosexual, I should marry a margarita!" said Rink Firsheen, tap-danci

-testine and shook at at them and they said "Ew" and ran away. Stan was happy to have vanquished the goons, but sort of disappointed that it had been done so peacefully. The dog