but when you're near me, I'm in the Mood for Love". "OMG! Take off that witch's face, Susan," I scolded my little rat friend, "before you accidentally cast a spell!" Just then, a

Surprise, & Dead Skunk, Believe it or not, Dead Skunk smells a lot nicer than these dead hobos when they're ripe. Did I mention we're the largest dead hobo storage on the mainline?

of the Year that year was none other than the photographer for Person of the Year for Time Magazine. "I'm so Metrosexual, I should marry a margarita!" said Rink Firsheen, tap-danci

-testine and shook at at them and they said "Ew" and ran away. Stan was happy to have vanquished the goons, but sort of disappointed that it had been done so peacefully. The dog

in the breaking headline: GOD CREATES UNIVERSE, SMITES ONE MERE HUMAN! "I FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN" SAYS GOD. The Junior Jumble was too good to pass up! I made my purchase post-haste.

that was the orchestrated version of the love theme from Putt Putt's Day at the Abattoir was burrowing into my skull and eating what little was left of my brain after a shadow of a

the intense heat emanating from the Devil's skin. "Mr. Devil, may I sit my egg drop soup on your arm for a minute, until it warms up a bit, please?" "What will you give me, Charlie

able to tamp down the bile. My illegal romance with Kendar the elf was impacted by my deafness. As a bard, he needed too much to endure the painful irony. I stopped visiting that

em to the Internet where my ex-boyfriend had posted the unsolicited images. D.I. Mitchell, heart pounding, veins throbbing, picked up a paparazzo and hurtled him into the birdbath.

"Elixir" is a word which here means "poison". Smite the world of its pestilence. Nightmine was a drug of dreams, a fantasy afterlife people could sleep through. Freedom is fatal.

ime in the summer, as the heat expands the rivets. But you tighten yourself in the cold and grasp onto anything nearby. Life's not a parade of anything so solid as words. The robot

phone call with someone who always spoke too long without listening. Obedience can be bought, but does not equate with loyalty. The Phantom of Freedom is sometimes a theif, when

in his practiced falsetto, "What are you wearing?" Matlock responded, "A white three-piece suit with a clashing tie." 2 hours later, Matlock & Barney Fife were groping in an alley

retired fire chief who still lived in the broom closet, was irritated. "Sloppy!" he huffed, "Why, in my day we never left the fire house unmanned! Guess I'll have to handle this

Bleeding, I collapsed, a crawling thing with trousers 'round his ankles. My vision was wavy as the ocean. Though I tried to cling to the world, all I grasped was sand. The beach

and Melania rose, a decrepit zombie. Enraged by the loss of her penis, Melania joined Godzilla in truncating the city's taller buildings, like a pair of radioactive weed-whackers.

so did her thighs, until she would not look out of place in a Wal-Mart, if I'm thinking of the same person here. I might not be. Her name has been lost to antiquity, by which I

that? A padded seat? Dr. Singh's patients started to refer to him as "Irritable Collin", which of course, made things worse. His receptionist, Hilda, got into the habit of ducking

But enemies are far from devils, far from nemesis. Those would be the Algonquin-style elitists who think they're better than you because they smoke. It's why you can only give up.

be able to pound out the dent in hr forehead plate with a rubber mallet. This, she hoped, would stop the Neptunal transmissions, but it only gave her a headache. Incoming messages