Finished Folds (821—840)
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1toning up their shirts each time they looked at the billboards with the nude pictures on them. See, I had a plan. I would dress them all very neatly and then subject them to
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2hauling ass. But they're not so great for hauling donkeys. The back seats tend to smell funny after a while. Anyway, the ninjas and the couple sped on toward their salvation whe
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5neatly gift-wrapped in a box from Amazon. Why Amazon would ship me a fresh corpse, I don't know. But there Kurt was, his body nestled among styrofoam and packs of dry ice.
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1I woke up this morning filled with regret. "If only I hadn't
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4Uh, I only have time to do just this one fold, so could you please hurry up and make it a good one? That'd be great, thanks.
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8So I had to ask myself, "What would a dodo do if a dude had the doo-doos?" And of course, the answer was obvious:
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3each other's rear ends. While they found the new sensation "fascinating" and "intriguing", the androids soon realized that they had developed their own form of "brain fart".
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8was strictly forbidden and was punishable by hanging. [Footnote 2: There have been 62 "Rotten Tomato Friendly-Fire" hangings since record-keeping began in 1816.]
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6that sticky white goo that they put in Twinkies. Miracle Whip would do in a pinch, though I preferred the taste of mayonnaise. A dollop of chocolate syrup and a little paprika
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2wouldn't fit? I had worked so hard to transfer my intelligence, my personality, every aspect of my consciousness into Lucille's head. As I lay shivering in the snow, I worried
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2And then something so amazing happened that I can hardly describe it.
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6like something unprintable. But Bigby was too late. The mayonnaise had already begun to spoil. His days as an Iron Chef were over.
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0You know what really grates my cheese, though?
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5-peechwriting session. It didn't occur to him that this woman might be his editor. She was obviously stalking him. So he raised a copy of his book high over his head and
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0out of the blue there was this really loud bang and
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3a moron. Seriously, I couldn't be dumber - there are bricks in buildings that are smarter than me. My god, there was this one time where I
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5well as could be expected, but it unfortunately didn't do a thing to fix my car, which was what I'd gone there for in the first place. "Darn it, now what am I gonna do?"
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4I turned to Facebook to ask what I should wish for. Predictably enough, four hundred people liked my question, but I only got three suggestions, none of which helped me at all.
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5when we got in line for the Monster Truck Rally at the Cow Palace. Boy, that place sure stank, though - woo-wee! It was like a thousand stink bombs went off all at once and
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5Do you miss the good old days? Do you wish you could have it all back? Well, now you can! Just follow these nine easy steps: